Years ago, my son came home from daycare with a simple but powerful technique for managing anger (which I still use today): “Smell the flowers; blow out the candle.” It was a child-friendly way to teach deep breathing.
Today, I read a line in a daily newsletter that struck a similar chord: “Spit out fire; breathe in calm.” Same concept, new way of looking at it.
Both remind us that anger can be transformed through breath.
But sometimes, breathing isn’t enough.
When you are angry at someone, try this:
- Grab a piece of paper.
- For 10 seconds, write the meanest, pettiest, most brutally honest things you wish you could say to that person.
- Don’t hold back. Be unhinged. Be nasty. Swear.
- Don’t overthink–just write.
- Really dig your pen or pencil into that paper. Gouge it if you want to.
- Then, crumple up the paper and burn it, letting the smoke take your thoughts into the universe.
How do you feel?
It’s amazing how much lighter you feel when the weight of the words are no longer in your body and you’re not carrying that emotional baggage around.
(This also works electronically, though I find it’s not as cathartic. In a pinch, open a note taking application on your phone, tablet, or computer. Write it all out. Then delete it.)
